Bad day
Not a good day today.
- got told off for something which was completely and entirely NOT my fault.
- chaired a meeting where i almost lost control, yet again. Maybe Im not a good speaker. Maybe im too emotional. Terlalu garang. Maybe I'm just soo ignorant and indifferent that people manage to walk all over me. Owh, maybe im just not cut out to be a leader. Heck im too meek, anyone could scream and shout at me. Ive tried to be understanding, yet in the end, I was the one manipulated. And here i am, a VP. true what ppl say, u cant meet everyone's needs and wishes. I have even been very argumentative & confrontational towards people who have looked down on our club, who thought that they could treat us as they demn wish. Pardon me, ive given everything to the club. We are, after all, in the same boat. But same boat or not, i dont expect ppl to have the same dedication and interest as me. Fully aware of that, i took the steps to be considerate. To try device some sort of a way out for any problem the club faces. Goodness, I have tried. Still, all sorts of shit is thrown at me.
Why did i bother? Cliche as this may sound, but coz of "passion". Good ol' passion had put me where i am today. If i was in this for the fame, or to make myself known, or to have the chance to meet menteri2, or to get paid, heck..i wouldnt get anywhere. I would receive NOTHING. Most of the times, my patience and rationality had really been put to test. God knows how ive cried, stressed, complaint etc. Yet i am still here. Like it or hate it, I am still around. For the love of the art had made the hardship seems pointless. The sense of satisfaction, joy and pride which i feel when i am performing the art, wipes away all the tears, pain and embarassent. Because dance, is a part of me.
But I must move on. I reckon i have contributed a lot. It's time for me to let go. For i am no longer able to put up with all those drama and excuses and reasons. They now weigh more than passion. it has now become a burden. I have had enuff. I reckon i'll let some one else to try on the shoes eh?
- got told off for something which was completely and entirely NOT my fault.
- chaired a meeting where i almost lost control, yet again. Maybe Im not a good speaker. Maybe im too emotional. Terlalu garang. Maybe I'm just soo ignorant and indifferent that people manage to walk all over me. Owh, maybe im just not cut out to be a leader. Heck im too meek, anyone could scream and shout at me. Ive tried to be understanding, yet in the end, I was the one manipulated. And here i am, a VP. true what ppl say, u cant meet everyone's needs and wishes. I have even been very argumentative & confrontational towards people who have looked down on our club, who thought that they could treat us as they demn wish. Pardon me, ive given everything to the club. We are, after all, in the same boat. But same boat or not, i dont expect ppl to have the same dedication and interest as me. Fully aware of that, i took the steps to be considerate. To try device some sort of a way out for any problem the club faces. Goodness, I have tried. Still, all sorts of shit is thrown at me.
Why did i bother? Cliche as this may sound, but coz of "passion". Good ol' passion had put me where i am today. If i was in this for the fame, or to make myself known, or to have the chance to meet menteri2, or to get paid, heck..i wouldnt get anywhere. I would receive NOTHING. Most of the times, my patience and rationality had really been put to test. God knows how ive cried, stressed, complaint etc. Yet i am still here. Like it or hate it, I am still around. For the love of the art had made the hardship seems pointless. The sense of satisfaction, joy and pride which i feel when i am performing the art, wipes away all the tears, pain and embarassent. Because dance, is a part of me.
But I must move on. I reckon i have contributed a lot. It's time for me to let go. For i am no longer able to put up with all those drama and excuses and reasons. They now weigh more than passion. it has now become a burden. I have had enuff. I reckon i'll let some one else to try on the shoes eh?
posted by neng_fused @ 7:01 pm
6 Comments:
At 9:35 pm,
Anonymous said…
hey gal..it's soo admirable that you had gone through all those stuff before for the love of art..and it must have been the love that brings the passion in you to go as far as you have come..no doubt about it.
all i can say is - passion does wears down over time..it's normal..all you need is just a little refill..look inside you, n i'm sure you'll discover the passion again..if you still can't, then it really is time to move on..n move on..dun ever look back...(i personally think it'll be a loss to your fans tho.. :( ..)
then again, wat do i know..? i'm just talking crap here..just hoping to cheer u up..dun worry, be happy k. :)..later..
At 11:23 pm,
Unknown said…
hey, dont give up ur passion coz u know how good the feeling is when u do it. and its true, we cant pleased anyone. but at least we do wat we have and supposed to do.. i dont really know wats going on, but i hope u can cope up with it.dont stress out too much k! :)
At 9:04 am,
mohd azmir said…
chill NENG!! chill and chill.. take it easy n dont stress urself!! life is more than all these stupid drama.. =)
At 2:39 pm,
Anonymous said…
aku support ko neng? ko suruh je aku menari time apa2 pun, ok no hal punya! 2 tarian? 3 tarian? kasi sepuluh pun boley ah! - BJ
At 2:54 pm,
Anonymous said…
chill sudey neng...do what u like and xyah la dengar sangat orang cakap ape pon...jangan tension2..exam dah dekat..heheheh anyway just do what u feel is rite and d important is..u r happy!!! : ) senyum banyak2 ye...
At 6:27 pm,
Anonymous said…
neng.
u did a pretty much gud job presiding the meeting on dat day. personally i think u managed to handle it pretty well. seriusly i mean it! agpun we managed to reach consensus to make only 1 performance for that nite n I agree wit ur decision.
papepun cheer up!=)
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